I guess about 2 months ago, the ads for Axe started showing up on television. Considering about 90% of the TV I watch is sports, it was probably during the sports telecasts. The ads struck me as astonishingly offensive: the guy sprays the shit on his neck, or whatever, women stick to him like glue, and he drags them to the checkout aisle. In fact, the ads were so offensive that I felt I needed to check the stuff out. Now, “Axe” is also very similar to “Axé,” a kind of music that is all sunshine, swimming suits, and beaches in my head (sample lyrics). So I kept thinking about happy Brazil pop and not blunt instruments used for splitting when I bought some at Target (the shower gel, phoenix stink), which, in my mind, I call “axé shower gel,” not “AXE FUCK JUICE,” or whatever. By the way, the bottle itself is more offensive than the ads, warning, “BEWARE OF THE AXE EFFECT The Axe Effect may result in, but is not limited to, unrelenting female attention and/or late nights.” Viki warned me against buying it, saying I’ll smell like I’m soaked in “score sauce,” but, in fact, the smell reminded me of the preparation for the last dance at summer camp, when all the boys are dressing up, slicking their hair, picking wildflowers for their dates, and spraying cologne—some for the very first time. It’s a great moment; the night hasn’t yet started yet, your date hasn’t ditched you, there’s no pathetic best friend tagging along as a spare tire/chaperone, no one has made out with another person’s date, etc. But one lingering question does remain: is shower gel the same thing as soap? Why not call it “soap gel,” or something? Or does it just provide smell?
July 28th, 2005 at 0:27
long time no hear! How the hell are you buddy? If you get confused as to which Rachel I am just think of Vilnius, copious amounts of alcohol and an Australian accent
July 29th, 2005 at 9:39
those axe commercials are worse than pathetic.
as for the shower gel thing, i’ll get back to you on that.
July 30th, 2005 at 12:59
Rachel: of course I remember. I just find it interesting that it’s this post that brought you to the site, considering it references a song I fell in love with around one week after the last time I saw you! Hope all is well.
August 1st, 2005 at 21:27
On the other hand, I like the subway/bus station ads. Most male care products promise that extremely hot women will have sex with you if you take care of your grooming. The Axe ads, however, just promise that you’ll have more sex. Which is at least closer to honest.
August 11th, 2005 at 15:35
hey bro. appreciated your cokie-bash. seems like lugenfest-la must be fast
approaching. how about track dos on the go team’s album. i cant
describe the rush it brings me each sunrise as i grand slalom through
venice’s acidified drifters in my ford focus zx5.
besos to randel-el, don.
August 11th, 2005 at 16:05
lugan fest: weekend of oct. 1. I bought my ticket already, and I’ll be staying from wed through monday. saw your brother from another mother the other week. he’s doing f-i-n-e.
August 14th, 2005 at 20:03
I think I saw a link to your blog on Aras’ or Sarunas’ site… and this was the most recent post on your so I just decided to say hello. As for how I’m going, I’m getting by all things considered… keep in touch