Somewhere, someone, and I’m not naming names or pointing fingers, seriously dropped the ball. How is it, that in the four years since it was released, no one said to me, “yo, you might kind of find Ladytron’s 604 right the fuck up your alley—Bulgarian lyrics, clean electroclash beats—check it out”? All those years of hanging out with hipsters and writing for the A&E section of the paper…and I have to rely on a German mp3 blog to get me hip? You suck. In any case, 604 is fantastic. Light and Music is not quite as sharp, but has some great moments. And, finally, apparently Ladytron is established enough to already be allowed to put out a mix album—Softcore Jukebox from 2003. The mix is ok, but crucially uneven (I still can’t tell if starting with My Bloody Valentine is genius or insanity), but it also fuels the purpose behind this post (other than hating on the people who are music experts and let me down).

The third track of the mix is a creepy synthpop song from the early ’80s by Cristina. I haven’t been yet able to figure out exactly what the song is going on about, but it seems to have some sort of political drive that I need to think about a bit more. But, I was unable to find the lyrics to “What’s a Girl to Do” online, so I’m transcribing them here for future reference. [Update 24 Mar 2005 7:49] Not true. There is a small archive of materials about Cristina, whose albums have been rereleased, available here. Our transcriptions differ slightly in form, but the words are at least the same.

“What’s a Girl to Do” (Cristina/Barry Reynolds/Don Was) perf. by Cristina

My life is inner turmoil,
My thighs are black and blue,
My sheets are stained,
So is my brain,
What’s a girl to do?
Oh, what’s a girl to do?

I passed out with a novel,
Or a needle in my hand,
I passed out with a rag doll,
And I passed out with a man.

I say my three Hail Marys,
I daily (/dearly?) paint my face,
My friends decay around me,
And I view them with distaste.

My life is inner turmoil,
My thighs are black and blue,
My sheets are stained,
So is my brain,
What’s a girl to do?
Oh, what’s a girl to do?

Well some girls have a mission,
And some girls have their work;
Some marry with precision (/decision?),
And some just dish the dirt!

And once I had a lover,
And I once had a profession,
And once I laughed at nothing,
And they called it a depression.

I tried dancing up and down
The wrong side of the track,
And I’ve walked on the right side,
Or just lain here on my back.

So I think I’ll quit while I’m behind,
Now that I’m twenty-two,
My sheets are stained,
So is my brain,
What’s a girl to do?

Oh, what’s a girl to do?

My sheets are stained,
So is my brain,
What’s a girl to do?

Oh, what’s a girl to do?

12 Responses to ““They only want you when you’re seventeen / When you’re twenty-one / You’re no fun””

  1. Look, scrapper, my time is at a premium. Don’t you think that, if I observed that you had no Ladytron records, despite the fact that they are quite clearly exactly your thing, I would assume that maybe you had heard about them and didn’t like it.

    Here’s ssome skinny about the Cristina thing, though. You’re welcome.

  2. I guess that’s better than Pete’s excuse, which was something like, “um, there was confusion over the fact that there are two bands named Ladytron.”

    The Voice piece managed not to mention that she was a sometime undergrad at Harvard. I think that’s kind of neat. But I wouldn’t call that review really good. Who has the space to mention Paris Hilton and Sprechstimme in a 200-word review? Pretentious writers.

  3. How did you manage to avoid Ladytron this long? There’s some kind of mailing list that covers this stuff somewhere, right? I mean, you’ve heard about the Go! Team, right?

  4. You are the second person in a week to tell me that the Go! Team are right up my alley. Funny thing is, Steve has been playing the album in the office for months. I just haven’t paid a lot of attention.

    I’m definitely not on any music mailing lists. And I don’t read any music sites. I do have a subscription to Blender, though. But I don’t think I’ve even opened the last three issues.

  5. Blender sucks. Ladytron is like forty years old. The Go! Team sucks. What do you do, watch MTV? I cant fcuking believe you admitted to EVER reading Blender. Christ! And ANNIE???? That is the worst thing out of our entire existence. Listen to Morrissey. Listen to King Geedorah/MF Doom/Madvillian. If you really like Annie or Go! Team, read Pitchforkmedia.com. They have huge pail-fulls of horseshit for you to listen to. PS, I like you blog.

  6. And it would seem I am a bad speller.

  7. i fucken love ladytron all you bitches’

  8. this music fucking rocks!
    makes me hawwwwt.

  9. i agree with anna

  10. ’seventeen’ by ladytron is great. i loved it when it was first released and was persuaded to download it again after watching party monster with macauley culkin and sth green. god bless or something

  11. i only came here to find out the song name so i could download it. coz its catchy.. and im nelly 17. ha thanks.

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