three farmers on their way to bikram yoga
reconciling the mechanical and spiritual worlds. STREETS IS WATCHING
or, the evening redness in the west
you have no idea how much more shit i am going to tell you about the image below.
It’s not a contest
Here’s what happens to you if you don’t get AT&T wireless:
1) no motorhead
2) no firsthand opportunity to sexually assault michael phelps with your eyes
3) no NCAA game
4) no normal childhood because of party monster
5) no not getting arrested
6) no continuing to be alive
circuit city ad equating flat screen tvs with either mistresses or mail order brides
Why can’t I touch it
The challenge is to know that the sentiment “Can I Get to Know You Better” has to be amortized like sixteen times until it’s more like “(Thank God I Died in) The Car Crash.”
Brady Quinn + Grady Sizemore = SOME AJ FEELY SHIT
Towering, misty eulogy for my NFL fandom to follow sometime this holiday weekend. Think sexed-up Lincoln at Cooper Union.
Reduced to just freaks
why is the CD spouting blood? also, is the dude on the upper left dead? Casual art-historical readings of Pen and Pixel records is the gift that keeps on being given. “FEMALE BALLER” is the shittiest rapper name in the history of time.
what woodlawn looked like before it got torched for the in-surance money. via Life Images and whetstone.
more google maps embedding for no real reason. i am entering my intertubes mature phase or something.
Hieronymo is mad againe part 4 (RIYL moneymaking schemes)
1: Advil-coating flavored ice cream and/or bath products. It’s a blues riff in B, watch me for the changes and try to keep up: I was at a thing filled with people who would probably describe themselves as “literary” (i won’t offer my opinion, other than all of the opinions embedded in this sentence). I was smoaking tobaccos outside waiting for someone to loan me the $4 i was short on the cover, and I noticed that everybody who came in smelled like some variant on sea salt and or herbal cleaning products (I swung mightily once inside to make a comedy routine out of this observation and got la gasface). So here’s what I think this points up: if you make consumer emollients and oils out of things that people like but offer previously unrealized opportunities to smell more like a democractic vista than your target audience’s intra-class enemies, you will drown in crumpled $20s? Hence, Advil coating, which doesn’t have a smell per se but we all know what it tastes like, nortonsimon? So this will involve some synesthetic engineering, but fuck it, you know what I’m saying. **
** I am not sure how ice cream plays into this, but I think it does. Trust my hunch.
2: A service that sends you text messages if something important related to your lifestyle choices happens. The brand builder is “if there is a sports game that is good, we will text you and tell you to go to a bar.” The only catch is, subscribers will have to complete a seven-thousand page T or F questionnaire monthly in order for our data matrix to perform above league average. Otherwise you’ll just get texts telling you that “blogs are hip” or “you should consider plastic surgery.” This isn’t a home run, but if you lie to yourself about what constitutes a home run or success or acceptable commercial activity, you could see your way clear to describing it as a sharp single. Floating a few name ideas: TextMeIfThereIsaThing.com, IsThisAThing.com, IsTheThingGood.com?
