Have your mother singing “it’s so haaaard”
cliff lee: the charges against you are as follows:
1. for being a dick
2. for fucking lots of shit up
you are sentenced to be cliff lee for the rest of your natural born life.
In Marysville Bitches Named Dillon and Josh Rob Get Rained on Repeatedly cuz there bitchs.
i’ve really taken a shine to smokeless tobacco in recent days. this is a placeholder for future stuff about the rise of the professional ethos in 26 yr old balding white men on the south side of chicago. also, i think i am going to go get a PhD in history by writing about the role of the rust belt underdog in post WWII american fiction. also i am getting a bloodhound. and that blue jays tattoo. do tattoo places take credit cards? do bloodhound breeders take credit cards?
Our Dangerous Hunts game was such a success that we just had to make a second series. In Dangerous Hunts 2, you’re going up against animals that are just as likely to be hunting you; this time, however, things are a lot more vicious. You’ll embark on 12 epic adventures that have you tracking and trying to take down the most dangerous and aggressive animals in the world – animals that have committed brutal offenses against your fellow man.
domine non sum dignus
Product Features
* Play as Nancy Drew and do double duty as a maid and detective as you clean for clues
* Cook up savory meals such as omelets, hamburgers, and salmon
* Ride across the rolling snow in a snowmobile and avoid deadly hazards
* Take aim in snowball fights and explore in snowshoes
* Play Junior or Senior detective level and erase mistakes without starting over
some field notes from recent days:
what would happen if i took out a personal ad saying i was looking for someone who probably would have been some kind of slavic peasant woman with big arms if not for the industrial revolution and the spread of constitutional democracy, and past that, in a lot of ways, still is a slavic peasant woman at heart?
:: modesty fetish? is this feasible. call with quotes.
“Sometimes he imagined himself serving the last Mass for the last Pope in a catacomb”
also, i’m doing a Run for Diabetes thing except instead of running or having diabetes, the money goes towards me getting the orson welles tattoo. And that’s what you get out of it to, if you either want me to be happy or in pain or a combination of both. Call to discuss.
women of color
i want to assign this p0st an isbn number and get it copyright. i think i’m going to start reclassifying my everyday life as tone poetry. the series of texts that follow is a book of poetry, fyi.
if you think spain is the most beautiful place in the world, why don’t you move there right now?
what do i call it when i am a misogynistic but like, against my will.
my new new new idea for a tattoo, since the blue jays idea lost steam, is maybe a large back piece of a young orson welles. maybe i can incorporate the blue jays font into this. Like have it say LOVE ON MY TERMS in that font across my shoulders above the backpiece.
increasingly creepy celebration of gourmet survivalism
on the block with a glock going beserk. this is a placeholder for the forthcoming photo essay depicting the giant 8-inch long scratch marks on the side of my head that cascaded from my decision, which i stand by, to ride my bike into a rose bush last night. i’m just glad i didn’t lose an eye or something mauve like that.
i will now:
go see Rescue Dawn
go see other films
leave work early
*this is* ceti alpha five
some errata/scenes from mowing my acres with the muzhiks:
i do not successfully use RSS feeds or the bookmark functionality of web browsers. i think my unhappinesses may be spiritually/metaphysically related to this habit. not causal. but related. like families.
stumbling out the front door this morning, serenaded by two cleaning dudes at the washington mutual laughing hell of loud about some kind of joke involving a women’s rear end. enjoying life. i watched a couple episodes of The Wire for the third or fourth tonight very early this morning. the one where wallace dies.
have been consuming ambitious amounts of fried chicken and keeping very still these days. am reading poetry a lot also.
FRKING A ARE YOU SERIOUS. I can’t wait to get behind a barricade and swing a cudgel at motherfuckers if this country keeps heading this way. i feel like a real grump rooting for nuclear winter but i don’t see what the otherwise right thing to root for might be.
nuclear winter frankly seems more realistic than hoping for 76% of the people in the world to realize they’re cocks and get started on the long process of removing their torso from their own ass. in fact, nuclear winter would be a prohibitive favorite in a heads-up test. i feel like a crusty bytch for being a feudal/luddite/misanthropic grumpzorss but whatever. if the price of the iFuture is such that people are going to TYPE ON LAPTOPS WHILE THEY FORNICATE i’m fucking going Montana Freeman. you never hear about any FDR-style liberals starting separatists movements. maybe it is time to change that. i have lots of clothes and i can probably bring enough tillamook cheese to feed us for a week or two. after that who knows what fun we’ll have. there’s a hamster we can probably eat.
